I'm in the mud.
Earlier, I said I was in the forest... As it turns out, I unknowingly stumbled into the Fire Swamp, and after narrowly escaping Rodents of Unusual Size and flame spurts, I'm currently deep in a pit of lightning sand.
It's hard to breathe with the weight of the unknown pressing against my body with incredible force. When I struggle to get out, to find clarity and direction, I dig myself deeper into the pit.
I love clear, open spaces so much that when I'm experiencing the opposite, my mind works overtime to get back to that clear place - where fresh ideas flow and movement is effortless. The longer I'm in the pit, the more I lose trust in myself. I start to think, "How could I have been so careless?" And, "I have no idea what to do."
It's at these points that I'll latch on to anything that promises to lift me from the lightning sand, even if it doesn't align with my intuition. These things may in fact lift me from the depths and allow me to breathe again, but only temporarily... Because if I keep following them without first (and continually) checking in with my intuition, I'll inevitably fall into more and more sand pits until I learn to listen to the authentic voice within me.
This time, I'm trying something different.
I'm resting in to the sand. I'm trying to stop struggling and just breathe. It turns out there is room to breathe if I stop and rest. It turns out it's quiet down here. I can hear my heartbeat and feel my body. It turns out, my intuitive voice will speak if I stop and listen.
I'll be down here as long as it takes.